Genesis Lost - Books 1 - 6 Read online

  The silence turned awkward now. It usually did when people talked about rape. Or clansmen. Both words in one sentence? Too much to handle for most.

  The shoulders of Esther’s mom slouched. “I upset you…”

  I said nothing. Not because I was upset with her, but because I was upset with myself. For still caring — almost twenty years later.

  “Right…” She gave a defeated nod. “I’ll leave you girls to it.”

  At that she left, the click of the door falling into its lock teasing a sharp exhale from Esther’s lungs.

  She flung herself onto the couch with one of the books on her lap. “I’m sorry.”

  “Why is she so eager for you to get this mediator assignment?”

  “She and my dad keep talking about how we need to show the council that we conform to their ideas. They tell me how this might give me a shot at becoming a councilwoman.” She flipped through the pages, more to distract herself than gain any real help. “I couldn’t care less about sitting on the council. All I want is to make it through my skill assessment, and start my training as a marriage counselor.”

  “Good luck with that.”

  She cocked her head, and her gaze flicked upward. “You sound like my parents.”

  “But think about it. What’s the point in marrying? If I wanted to have a child, I would simply have myself inseminated at the clinic. We have five children at my community home. None of their mothers are married, and we all help raise them.”

  “But what about partnership? And love?”

  Her question sent heat into my cheeks. Could you love a man if you didn’t feel any physical attraction to him? At all? Ever?

  “You can find both things without getting married. It’s… old-fashioned.”

  “I think it’s beautiful… and romantic.”

  I grabbed one of the plates from the coffee table and devoured the chunks of chicken and pieces of sweet potato, licking the grease off my fingers after each bite. “Don’t say that kind of stuff in front of the clansman, or he’ll kidnap you and drag you into Clan territory.”

  She smacked her lips. “Don’t get me wrong. I know you and your mom have been through a lot, but it’s hard to believe they’re all like that.”

  I walked back over to the window and gazed once more into the yard, where Esther’s dad now watered a large patch of dark-brown soil while her mom spread seeds across the surface.

  “You weren’t out there and have no clue how things are.” Another piece of chicken. Another lick across my fingertips. “But I was. And I can tell you, the last thing I ever want to see again is a clansman.”

  Chapter 3

  The Woodlands

  Nix

  She shoved her boot over clumps of moss, pivoting her other heel into the mud while I circled around her. Her eye contact was solid: focused, and confident. What gave her away was that rapid pulse of hers, thumping into the big, fat vein right above her collarbone.

  There was no way her one-hundred pounds and some change body could overpower a six-foot-five guy like me. For a moment, her eyes darted between me and the fallen oak beside us. But she was smarter than that, taking this to a whole new level of fun. Smart was good. Smart kept them alive — at least for a little while.

  I took a jump toward her. Making her flinch. Driving up that heartbeat. “You know I won’t let you get away.”

  For a moment she stood rooted to the spot, each tick twitching across her eyelids an idea. Nobody would hear her screams, and those who did wouldn’t want to get involved. It was just her and me.

  She threw a kick against my side. Fast and strong, but so sloppy it barely brushed my shirt. Then she fell back into a sturdy stance, her lips pressed into such a fine line they all but disappeared inside her mouth.

  “Looks like your brother did a bad job at teaching you that high-kick,” I said, sending several punches toward her stomach.

  She avoided all of them, twisting and turning her slim waist. Didn’t matter. I wasn’t going for the punches, I was going for the fear. For the desperation. Anything that would have her make a mistake. A wrong step. A loss of balance.

  Heels and fists rained down on me like a shower in April. Some hit; most missed. But she was fast and agile, where I was precise and robust.

  “Fucking bastard,” she snarled.

  I blocked her next punch with my forearm, feeling that grind penetrate deep into my bone. She stalled after that. Probably running out of strength.

  A silence played back and forth between us. Her dark-brown eyes locked with mine. She knew there was something I wasn’t protecting. Most women would have gone for my balls, but she knew better — it was the one thing we protected most when we were up against a woman.

  She pulled her elbow back, readying that joint for a sucker-punch straight against my jaw. Her teeth bared. Her throat let out a primal moan. But her arm was too fucking low and her angle all wrong. I ducked and grabbed her by her thigh, lifted her up with one tug, and threw her down onto the dry ground.

  A deep exhale drove out of her lungs, followed by a desperate rasp that left her face paler than just a second ago. I climbed on top of her and pried myself between her thighs while fighting off sharp nails.

  I grabbed her wrists and pushed them down, the skin along my fingers chaffing against a small rock. A piece of snot shot right at me and drooled off my cheek.

  “Stupid bitch!”

  Leaves rustled.

  Young twigs cracked.

  And then, a familiar voice sounded out from behind me. “Is that kind of talk necessary?”

  “It needs to be realistic, or she won’t be able to handle the psychological strain if she ever gets attacked,” I said and gave a quick glance over my shoulder.

  Big mistake.

  The moment I turned my head back to Hannah, her blonde scalp came crashing against my nose. A shooting pain climbed into my nostrils and didn’t stop until it reached my brain, fogging my thoughts and soaking my upper lip in something warm. Half a breath later, the taste of iron seasoned my tongue.

  She kicked me in the stomach and rolled me to the side, then jumped up, brushed the dirt off her pants, and gave Blake a satisfied nod. “Told you I can take him down.”

  “No, you can’t.” I worked myself onto all fours and got up, bunching up my shirt underneath my nose. “I already had you on the ground. Blake distracted me is all.”

  Hannah leaned in closer, her vocal cords coated with pride. “You might have failed me at the high-kick, brother, but you sure as hell taught me how to use a moment of distraction to my advantage. I won. Now pay up.”

  “Fucking shit.”

  I walked over to my jacket and punched my hand into one of the pockets, then pulled out a vacuum-sealed chocolate cookie. “I’m only giving you this because my word is on the line here. This was unfair, and you know it.”

  She grabbed the cookie with a huge grin tugging on the corners of her mouth. “Nothing is unfair as long as it keeps me alive and unharmed. Your words.”

  “Still, work on that high-kick while I’m gone. And stop letting your eyes trail all over the place. It gives away how desperate you are, got it?”

  “Uh-huh…”

  “Seriously, Hannah, I mean it. That’s what they’re going for. Desperation and defeat. They want to overpower you and not just physically.”

  I tapped my finger against my temple, but my sister had already busied herself with the cookie, fumbling out the chocolate chips and devouring them one by one.

  Blake let out the kind of sigh that made your stomach go numb. “Mom’s asking if there’s anything else she needs to prepare before you leave. Said she washed all your stuff and folded it into your duffle bag.”

  Something the size of a brick formed at the back of my throat, leaving little room for my answer to squeeze through. Must have been the thought of going away from my family for two months.

  “I hate when she goes through my stuff.” I swung my jacket across my shoulder and climb
ed over the fallen oak. “It’s not like I can’t do my own laundry.”

  “The Districts will be pleased to hear it,” Blake laughed.

  “Very funny.”

  Hannah ran up beside us and shoved the empty wrapper inside her pocket. “Bet Nix’s gonna act like he never learned how to stir soup, just for the sake of pissing them off.”

  Blake turned around and set into motion, the veins on his cheeks soon popping up red while he worked himself over the uneven forest floor. “Guys, I hate to bring this to you, but this invitation is important. It’s been over ten years since the council last invited a clansman into their territory. And Nix will determine the outcome.”

  “Don’t worry. Their women will vote for a merge the moment they set eyes on me.” I smacked my tongue, but all I got in return were two sets of raised brows. “Oh, you don’t believe me? It’ll be the first time in a long while they get to see a real man.”

  Hannah let out a chuckle. “Yeah, they’ll throw themselves at your feet and ask you to marry them.”

  “And I’ll marry them all!”

  Blake threw up his hands and let them come crashing down onto his lap. “How about you start taking this more seriously? You’re going to be chieftain very soon, and it’s high time you started acting like one.” He buried his face in his palms, a constant shake on his head. “Hannah, would you go home, please, and see if mom needs help? I need a word with Nix. Alone.”

  Hannah’s complexion paled once more. She gave a nod and stepped back into motion, making her way along the narrow path back to our cabin.

  “Let me guess…” I took a deep breath, my chest constricting the moment I took a step, realizing Blake wouldn’t follow. “You’re gonna tell me that I’m going there to represent our people, not myself. And once I’m back, I’ll have to choose a wife. Put an heir into her belly. Keep the family line going yada, yada, yada.”

  For a long moment, he didn’t say a word, knowing full well the silence would penetrate me to my bone. Make that hopelessness spread deeper into my core.

  He gave a pat against my arm. “We all get this is difficult. You weren’t raised to replace dad one day, but that’s not an excuse for acting stupid and trying to wiggle out of your responsibilities as the future chieftain. This is serious, Nix.”

  “I get that.”

  “The Districts have the numbers to defend themselves. They got infrastructure, medical equipment and you know what else they got? They got peace.”

  My stomach knotted up. “Yeah, they got peace, alright. But at what cost?”

  Something dark hovered over Blake’s face. Waiting to wrinkle his forehead. To cast a dark shadow across his skin.

  I threw my arms in front of my chest. “Are you seriously thinking we should agree to utilize their water? It literally killed almost the entire female population, Blake. The water is the reason why things are fucked up in the first place. And now you want us to tank up on it?”

  “That’s not what I said.”

  “What are you saying then?”

  “I’m saying it’s clear that the water hasn’t killed anyone in a long time, and that you have to be open-minded when you go into negotiations with them.”

  Frustration pinched my insides.

  This chieftain-business was more complicated than Blake had let on, back when dad still trained him to become one after his death.

  “Would you do it?” I asked, the burden of nearing chieftain-hood dragging down my vocal cords. “Would you give up on having a wife and children one day? A family? Love? Burying your cock inside a warm pussy each night?”

  A few months ago, Blake would have nervously tapped his foot. But not now. Not anymore. Instead, he clenched his fingers around the armrest, staring off at nothing. “I won’t ever have a wife or a family or a child. All you can do is ask yourself what’s better for your Clan. All this shit is gonna drop on your shoulders soon, Nix, because you’re my brother and you’re our father’s son.”

  “Hilarious.” My voice trailed off, and I joined Blake at staring into the nothingness of the familiar forest.

  “You’re my brother, Nix, and I don’t give a shit about formalities.” Blake gave a scoff and jutted his chin toward the backrest. “Now push me before I roll down the hill. My arms are killing me already.”

  I grabbed the handles of his wheelchair and pushed him around rocks and twigs, the thick rubber tires squishing water out of the moss. Blake would have made a great chieftain. Strong, brave, and just. But only from the tip of his head to his waist. The rest was numb.

  “Got any idea which of the girls you want to marry?” he asked.

  “It’s complicated, man. Women didn’t even look at me for the last twenty-seven years. Now they all beg at my feet.”

  “Told you being the future chieftain has its benefits.”

  “Yeah…” I hesitated for a moment, staring at the cabin coming up ahead of us. The chimney puffed lazy clouds into the light-blue summer sky, smudging it in black and gray. “They all want me for my title. None of them want me for who I am. And certainly not for what I am.”

  “A decent guy?”

  I thanked him for his comment with a slap against his head.

  Women ignored him now — just like they did with most of the other men in our Clan. That’s what you get with a ratio of one woman per ten men.

  The moment we stepped inside the cabin, mom walked up to us with her hair in disarray and a sheen of sweat covering her forehead. “Phoenix, is there anything else you need to be washed or folded? Should I make a sandwich, so you’ve got something to eat on the road? It’s eight hours, honey.”

  “Mom, I got this.”

  “But you always get so grumpy when you’re hungry.”

  I placed my palm onto her arm and gave a tug until she stopped her whirling about to look at me. “Mom. I said I got this. Everything’s packed, and I’ll be back soon. Where’s Hannah?”

  “She went to her room, but… he’s been asking for you.”

  I couldn’t control the way my gaze dropped down to the floor. I didn’t even realize it had until my mom cupped my cheek and brought my eyes back up. “Say goodbye to him.”

  I gave a nod and complied because that’s what you did when a woman asked you for something. Especially if that woman was your mom.

  I walked along the hallway and stepped into the dark room, the floorboards creaking underneath my shifting weight. Curtains hung heavy and dust-covered in front of the windows, hiding all those dead flies I knew collected along the sill.

  His shadowed bed stood at the far end, the surrounding air rancid, like sweaty balls, dirt-clogged pores, and death taking his sweet time.

  I grabbed the little stool and sat down next to him, balancing my ass on the three wobbly legs. “I’m about to leave, dad.”

  His gaze wandered about the room as if his eyes searched for the source of the voice, a constant jitter throwing his head off-course. When they finally caught with mine, he gasped for air. “Blake, protect the Clan.”

  “Dad, it’s me. Nix.”

  His lips parted and closed for what felt like several minutes, but couldn’t have been more than a few seconds. All the while, he stared at my eyes, squinting then widening as if the truth pressed into his moments of confusion. Long enough to flinch back at my blue eyes. They always had that effect on him.

  But clarity never lasted long enough for him to denounce me as his son. Or his predecessor. At least not anymore.

  “You have to protect your mother and your sister,” he went on. “And don’t let them bring you down. The Clans are proud, Blake. Don’t let them take your pride.”

  “I won’t, dad.”

  Then it happened. His breath rasped, and his dark eyes bulged. He clutched his blanket like a scared, little child, and pulled it up against his chin, anger coming over his face faster than I could draw in my breath. “Where’s Blake? Where’s the chieftain?”

  “You are chieftain, dad.”

  “I shou
ld have drowned you the moment you were born.”

  I let out a deep sigh, stood up, and shoved the stool back against the wall. Yeah, it was always my eyes that got him. “I’ll miss you too, dad.”

  “You’ll never be a chieftain,” he said, the sharpness of his tone leaving no doubt he would have shouted it if he still had the strength.

  Blake gave a knock against the doorframe, his tires stuck at the massive threshold. “How is he?”

  “His head is quite clear right now. Unfortunately.” I squeezed myself between frame and wheelchair. “The last thing I wanted was for him to realize I wasn’t you the moment I said goodbye.”

  Chapter 4

  The Districts

  Nix

  I shifted my numb ass from one side to the other, the bone-deep bass Ben had vibrating through the truck doing little to distract from the epiphany in front of us. This was definitely not Clan territory anymore, I could tell by the way the forest had been replaced by landscaping, and cabins for concrete.

  They had cleared the highway of old vehicles, which led straight into the Districts. If it hadn’t been for the weeds pushing through the crumbling asphalt, the picture in front of me might have been one from an old travel magazine.

  Behind the road, buildings rose like skyscrapers inside a snow globe, surrounded by scaffolds, young trees and large cranes with rods of steel dangling from it. Blake’s talk about infrastructure suddenly made a whole lot more sense.

  Ben fumbled the knob on his makeshift CD-player and let the music turn into a background lullaby. “This place is fucking massive, man. You sure you don’t need me to come with you?”

  “Trust me, I’d feel at ease with someone sane by my side. But Blake already asked, and they wouldn’t allow more than one clansman.”

  He let out a laugh. “Did he now? Maybe you’re just a greedy bastard who doesn’t wanna share all the women they got hidin’ in there.”